Rewriting The Script
by Lyonene
Summary: A group of friends decide it'd be amusing to kidnap their favorite WWE Superstars for one night. The Superstars don't find it all that funny though, especially when they're subjected to a game called 'Bowling For Superstars.' Chaos and giggles run rampant
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** Obviously, I own nothing, except the plot. Not even the OC's as they are based off my friends. Don't sue!

**A/N:** I wrote this as a joke for my friends, the concept just kind of spiraled from an idea I was bouncing off of 'Keira'. We all found it amusing. Anything that might be considered offensive, my apologies in advance!

PART ONE

"How's it coming back there?" Shelly asked, turning up the volume on her cell phone, gesturing for silence.

"It'd be great it Javelin would learn how to drive." Patsy replied, her voice sounding irritated. "He thinks it's cute to ride people's asses."

"Other than that?"

"Other than that everything's just peachy. How much longer?"

Shelly glanced at the stereo's clock. "Another ten minutes. After that we're on a strict schedule, do you remember everything?"

Patsy sighed, like she was passing up a really good remark. "Yep, we say hi to the parents, bring home the kiddies and call it a night."

"See you soon." Shelly laughed, flipping her cell shut.

Lamika glanced in the rear view mirror. "How're they doing?"

"Patsy sounds like she's going to kill Javelin."

"When aren't they out to kill each other?" Asked Cindy from the backseat where she was wedged between Jox and Kayla.

"Good point." Lamika frowned, glancing at the clock. "Shel, you'd better call Marcus and make sure he's in position."

***

Marcus was leaning against the limousine he had rented, under his brother's name of course, smoking a cigarette when his own cell rang. "Hello?"

"How're things looking?"

"Molto buon."

"Not everyone is Italian, do you mind?" Shelly laughed.

"Everything is all right here signora bella." Marcus replied, his voice teasing.

"I caught that last part." Shelly reprimanded playfully. "We're almost there so just keep on doing whatever it is you're doing."

"Arrivederci Shel."

***

"Javelin, do you have to ride everyone's ass?" Patsy demanded, watching wide eyed as a license plate became all to visible before them.

Javelin didn't answer, just swerved into the next lane, his green eyes locked on Lamika's black SUV.

"Jav! I mean it!" She reached across the seat to slap him upside the head. "I'm not dying tonight! Not just cause you can't drive!"

"I agree," Daria spoke up from the backseat where she had been dealing out her Tarot deck alongside her. "If it's all the same to you, I'd like to live awhile longer."

Sighing almost inaudibly, Javelin backed off the semi he was tail gating.

"Thank you." Both women breathed.

Daria smiled to herself, flipping a card. "That's what I thought. Patsy, look…" She chuckled, passing it forward.

Patsy stared at the card, laughing before flashing it at Javelin.

It was The Fool.

***

"How's it going up there?" Keira bellowed from the foot of the stairs.

Mands and Lana appeared a few seconds later, both covered in dust and sweat.

"We're almost done…" Mands wiped her forehead with a rag she procured from her back pocket. "We're just bolting the chairs down now."

Lana disappeared for a moment, returning with two bottles of water, tossing one to Mands. "How about down there?"

"I'm finishing with the foam, about ready to start putting it up." Keira smiled wickedly, tossing her red hair back over her shoulder, the black streaks reflecting the dim hallway light. "After we're through, we'd be able to kill someone here and nobody would hear a damn thing."

"Well we're not out to kill anyone now are we?" Lana teased, reaching up to pat dust from her own, normally brown locks.

"No… but we might have to look to our own asses before all's said and done." Keira retorted, laughing as she headed back to work.

"You know something, I seriously think we've all lost our minds." Mands chuckled, shaking her head as she and Lana went to finish with the chairs.

"I know, ain't it cool?"


	2. Chapter 2

PART TWO

"We're on." Lamika said softly, parking the SUV in a shadowed alley, her eyes zooming in on Marcus.

Jox and Kayla slid out of the backseat, while Lamika popped the trunk.

Shelly turned around to look at Cindy. "Ready for your debut performance?" She asked, her brown eyes sparkling with mischief.

"I was born ready." Cindy replied, combing her fingers through her brown, almost black hair, mussing it a little. She scooted herself along the seat and allowed Lamika, who was now waiting patiently besides the back passenger door, to help her out.

Kayla was quickly pushing Cindy's wheelchair near the buildings back doors, glancing about for cameras.

"Keira and Patsy disabled them yesterday." Marcus whispered, his own eyes narrowing as he glanced down at his gold watch. "Hurry!"

Kayla overturned the wheelchair before sprinting back to the SUV, passing Jox and Lamika who were carrying Cindy over towards the doors.

"All right bait," Jox teased playfully, she and Lamika gently laying Cindy down onto the pavement. "Do your stuff and win an Oscar."

Cindy flashed a thumbs up, positioning herself face down, bracing her weight on her elbows.

Lamika and Jox hurried back to join Shelly and Kayla, all of them watching on anxiously, this was the part where things could seriously be screwed up.

***

"All right, now we wait." Javelin said, parking in front of the building.

"You're in a handicapped spot." Patsy pointed out.

"You are in the car with me."

"We're going to be ticketed you ass clown!"

"Do you ever stop bitching?" Javelin groaned, moving the car forward.

"Do you ever do anything right?"

"Children, children, children…" Daria sighed, shaking her head. "Hush up, if you hear sirens Jav, then you have my permission to speed out of here like a bat out of hell okay?"

"About time someone says something that I like."

***

Marcus looked up when he heard the double doors slam open, his eyes widening behind the black sunglasses he wore, even though it was night. Apparently the 'meeting' these wrestling superstars had been summoned to didn't go well.

"What the hell was that all about?" Ken Kennedy demanded, walking besides Edge. "There was no one even in there!"

Edge was frowning, reaching a hand up to rub his chin. "I don't get it either…"

"Whoa, watch it!" Jeff Hardy darted forward, shoving past the two men. He dropped to one knee besides Cindy. "Miss, miss are you all right?"

She groaned feebly, her limbs stirring slightly.

Carlito spotted the wheelchair and walked over to it, righting it and pushing it over. "She all right?" He asked, kneeling down besides Jeff.

"I don't know…"

***

"Let's do this…" Shelly said when she seen the men take the bait, reaching down under her seat for a black duffel bag. "Jox, you got the tape?"

Jox flashed a role of duct tape, grinning broadly. "Oh yeah…"

Kayla just shook her head. "We're so going to hell for this."

***

John Cena pushed past Kane and the Undertaker, spotting Marcus and frowning. "What the hell is your problem man?" He demanded angrily. "Why didn't you help her?"

"Che cosa?" Marcus raised his sunglasses, looking confused.

"Fuckin' foreigners…" Triple H muttered from the back of the crowd.

"Her!" John gestured to Cindy, who was now being sat back in her wheelchair by Jeff and Carlito. "The woman!"

"Non parlo inglese."

"Ma'am, are you all right?" Jeff asked, smiling awkwardly when Cindy stared around at them all.

"I'm just fine thank you." She said brightly, nodding to Marcus.

***

Keira jumped when her cell phone rang, dashing across the room to pick it up from the metal folding chair she had placed it on. "Hello?" She answered breathlessly, crossing her fingers.

It was Lamika. "We're on our way, make sure the kid's bedrooms are ready, they're all very, very tired."

Keira started hollering when she hung up, not stopping when Mands and Lana came running down the stairs.

"What? Is everything all right?" Lana demanded, grabbing her friend's shoulders and shaking her.

Keira calmed down enough to nod. "They're on their way!"

Mands clamped her hands over her mouth. "Oh my god… they actually did it!"

"You really doubted them?" Lana smirked, arching an eyebrow. "Let's finish sound proofing this place, someone needs to grab the trolley…"

"I'll do it," Mands said, shaking her head as she started for the storage closet. "Outta our minds."

"She says that a lot." Lana told Keira.

Keira just started jumping around again.


	3. Chapter 3

PART THREE

"They're here!" Mands shouted, peering out the tinted window before closing the blind. "Lana, Keira they're here!"

"Got the trolley?" Keira asked, walking over to push open the double doors.

"Right here."

Keira followed them outside, watching as Marcus backed the limo up, Lamika and Javelin both pulling in behind him.

Lamika, Shelly, Jox, Kayla and Cindy were out of the SUV quickly, all laughing.

Javelin, Patsy and Daria were looking like they didn't believe this had been pulled off.

"You should've seen the looks on their faces!" Cindy exclaimed, wheeling herself towards Marcus, though she was talking to Keira, Mands and Lana. "Right before we got them."

"Cindy deserves a Golden Globe or something." Marcus laughed, bending down to hug her. "She had them eating out of the palm of her hands."

"Not meaning to interrupt the celebration, but we should probably get these guys upstairs and into their seats before they start coming around." Patsy said, folding her arms across her chest.

Daria was staring into the limo, her green eyes wide. "I can't believe we did it." She murmured, reaching out to grasp the door, steadying herself. "They're going to be upset when they wake up."

"All the more reason to get them inside." Lamika chuckled walking over to stare inside too. "Hmmm… All right folks, let's get this done."

***

It seemed to take forever, hauling in the wrestlers one by one. Marcus and Javelin each carried Ashley and Jillian in, both getting told to keep their hands to themselves.

"You wenches best be remembering that too!" Javelin shouted, flipping them off before disappearing inside.

"Who first?" Keira mused, watching as Mands positioned the trolley nearby.

"Let's get Kane first, he's right there." Jox grinned, nudging Daria in the ribs playfully.

Daria just smiled serenely.

It took them all to pull him out of the limo, somehow managing to get him on the trolley. His head got a little banged up, his dead weight not helping them any.

"Next time, we need to find an easier way." Kayla groaned, wiping sweat from her forehead.

Lana snorted, joining Patsy to start pushing the trolley inside. "Next time? We're probably going to prison after this…"

"Oh but think of the memories!" Keira teased.

"Hmm…. John Cena is a drooler." Lamika snickered, clamping a hand over her mouth.

Keira spun around, poking her head inside the limo, her eyes narrowing. "Listen here wench," She said, turning to face her friend. "You be nice, the poor guy is drugged."

"No duh…"

They all jumped when Ken Kennedy began snoring.

"Don't say it." Cindy giggled when the girls all turned to stare at her.

***

David Batista was the first to wake up, groaning at a sharp pain in his head. "What the…" His voice trailed off as he looked around, trying to stand up. He frowned, looking down to see his arms and legs firmly strapped to a chair with lots and lots of tape. "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?" He bellowed.

Besides him was Ashley, she jerked awake at the sound of his voice, her face showing her obvious surprise. "Where are we?" She asked, groaning at her own headache.

***

"Sounds like they're up." Daria said, looking up from her Tarot cards.

"You think?" Javelin snorted, busy with his pizza. "I think they're mad."

"I wonder why."

Patsy smirked, leaning across the table to steal a slice from Javelin. She took a bite, chewing it slowly, ignoring the annoyed expression on his face. "Maybe we should go say hi and introduce ourselves."

"Maybe we should go offer them some Tylenol." Lamika giggled, laughing when Keira muttered something under her breath. "None of that now dear, we're already going to be pressed with kidnapping charges, you really want to add rape to that?"

"Maybe I do, maybe I don't."

Kayla shook her head, pushing away from the table. "I don't know about the rest of you, but there's a gorgeous blonde in there who I'm dying to go see."

"Jump his bones you mean." Lana grinned broadly.

"Like you're not? I seen the way you looked at Mr. Jericho."

Lana whistled innocently, looking up at the ceiling.

"Well ladies and gentleman," Mands said, clearing her throat, tossing a nervous look towards the stairs, a lot of shouting going on up there. "We might have sound proofed the building but I think we should go check and make sure they're not squirming out of those chairs."

"Please… give me a little more credit than that," Jox made a pained face, gesturing to her ever present duct tape. "I used a whole roll on each of them, two on the bigger guys."

"Plus we bolted down the chairs." Lana reminded.

"Whatever, we got some people to go harass, what the hell are we doing waiting here?"


	4. Chapter 4

PART FOUR

Jillian seen them first, her eyes widening. "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?" She screamed, trying to break her restraints. "WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?"

"Calm down." Lamika said, glancing at Marcus.

"CALM DOWN? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? YOU PEOPLE KIDNAPPED US!"

"Jilly, if you don't shut up, I'm going to rip your tongue out." Chris Jericho muttered, looking like he was suffering a serious, serious migraine.

"HOW CAN I SHUT UP WHEN THESE-" Jillian's eyes widened when Jox stepped forward, slapping a piece of duct tape over her mouth.

"The rooms are sound proofed but damn, you're killing my ears!" Jox grinned.

Lamika and Keira exchanged looks, both trying not to grin.

Shelly was watching Jeff, smirking at how calm he was trying to be. "Don't worry, we're not going to keep you very long. You'll be back to your normal routine before too long."

"What the HELL are we doing here?" Hunter said gruffly, glaring at them all. "You DO realize you psychos are going to jail right? AFTER you get out of the hospital!"

"Hmm…" Cindy snuck a sidelong look at Mands. "And to think, you ACTUALLY like him?"

Mands just shrugged. "Color me strange."

Carlito was staring at Cindy. "You're the woman from the… THAT IS NOT COOL!"

Cindy giggled, her green eyes sparkling mischievously. "It worked didn't it?"

'Taker inhaled deeply, trying to remain calm though it was obviously a chore. "What do you want?" He asked finally. "Money? Your fifteen minutes?"

The kidnappers all looked quite offended.

"Money?" Patsy echoed. "Have you not seen what we've done, do you honestly think we need money?" She smirked, walking over to reach out and fluff his hair. "That and we don't need fifteen minutes, handsome, we have all night." She winked down at him.

"There she goes…" Javelin rolled his eyes.

"Quiet." Daria said, more than used to being the peace maker between them. She shook her head, glancing at Kane, amused when she found him trying to break loose. "Don't bother, Jox knows what she's doing."

Jox grinned broadly again.

Kane stared at Daria, his nostrils flaring. "When we get out of here…." He growled.

"Yes?" She leaned towards him, cupping her ear. When he didn't reply she snapped her fingers, a quarter appearing between her thumb and index finger. "Call someone who's worried honey."

Lana and Kayla were standing in a corner quietly discussing something between them. Finally waving Lamika and Shelly over, leaving Keira to aid Daria in separating the now quarrelling Javelin and Patsy.

"What's up?" Lamika asked curiously, stuffing her hands in the pockets of her jeans.

"How long before that… thing kicks in?" Kayla glanced back at the struggling wrestlers, her eyes widening when she seen the fine sheen of sweat that covered Edge's face.

"Honey it's just something to calm them down." Shelly assured her, trying not to smile. "Give it about another ten minutes and they should stop this ruckus."

"I hope so."

Lamika and Shelly just grinned at each other.

"All right, if you two don't knock it off I'm going to let Daria hex you into the next damn century!" Keira finally snapped, about ready to pull her hair out.

Marcus had stepped in between Patsy and Javelin. "Can't we all just get along?" He asked, flashing his pearly whites at both of them.

They're response was to punch him, at the same time.

"OUCH!" Marcus moved away from them, rubbing his arms and cursing in Italian under his breath.

"I feel so much better." Patsy smirked.

Javelin winked at her. "So do I."


	5. Chapter 5

PART FIVE

After about ten-fifteen minutes of listening to the stars rant and rave, the crew was relieved when the drugs finally kicked in.

"This is kinda funny." Chris snickered, staring down at his hands. "So… what next people or is this where the plan ends?"

Mands snorted, elbowing Lana. "Sounds like a challenge to me."

Lana smiled innocently, twirling her brown hair around on her fingers. "That depends on you Mr. Jericho." She began slowly walking over to stand in front of him. "If you're going to play nice…"

Chris titled his head back to look at her, a smirk on his lips. "I never EVER play nice baby cakes."

"That's a pity…" Lana murmured, reaching down to pat his head. "I guess you'll just have to be one of the pins."

"One of the- what?"

Cindy and Kayla both started giggling.

"Bowling for superstars…" Shelly supplied, ignoring the looks she received from the semi lucid wrestlers. "Any of you get out of line and we're going to use you as bowling pins… Now, who tell can tell me what the bowling ball is?"

All eyes slowly moved to Cindy, who was looking angelic and sweet, though her eyes said an entirely different story.

"That is NOT cool." Carlito said finally.

"You keep saying that." Jox sauntered over to sit on his knee, twirling his hair around her fingers. "You know what would be cool?"

He stared up at her.

"If I didn't have to duct tape your cute but annoying mouth shut."

Keira shook her head. "All right, this room is sealed and there's no way out ladies and gentlemen." She neglected to mention the fact that the keys were on one of the people in the room. "Each of us are carrying a weapon," She also failed to mention the fact that they were all equipped with stun guns. "We really don't want to have to use them but we will. So, who wants to be untied?"

Lamika giggled when there was a bunch of 'I do's'. "I think we can let them go." She turned to stare at her friends. "First sign that they're getting out of control, hurt them. No molesticating anyone, unless they give permission." She snickered at some curses from behind her.

Jox rubbed her hands gleefully, handing out nail files. "Like this folks." She walked back to Carlito, grinning up at him. "Hold still or I might miss the tape."

He started muttering about things being not cool.

Jox grimaced but start hacking away at the duct tape that held him in place anyways. "There you go."

Carlito slowly stood up, stretching his limbs, his eyes never leaving her.

Jox didn't step away, just placed her hands on her hips, grinning like a Cheshire cat.

***

Cindy ignored Ken Kennedy's curses as she patiently freed him, wheeling back when he leapt to his feet only to fall on his ass, his legs numb. "Calm down sport." She said quietly, extending a hand to help him.

He ignored it, just started rubbing feeling back into his legs.

Annoyed, Cindy rolled herself into him. "Listen here, if you don't want to be tied back up, you'd better pretend to be civil. One night, then you can call the cops on me all right?"

Kennedy stared at her, his eyes narrowing before his lips curled into a slow, admiring smile. "You got some brass balls, you know that?"

"Platinum." She corrected.


	6. Chapter 6

PART SIX

Shelly and Jeff were getting on rather well, especially considering the circumstances. Jeff was rather outgoing while Shelly was kind of shy. Something he found amusing to no end.

"You're a kidnapper but you're shy?" Jeff taunted from the corner they were sitting in, sitting Indian style, his back against the wall. "Am I the only one who finds that ridiculous?"

Shelly wasn't amused. She was leaning against the wall opposite him though they were only a foot or two apart, her knees drawn to her chest. "You want to be tied back up don't you?"

"As long as I ain't being used as a bowling pin." Jeff replied, grinning broadly.

Shelly laughed in spite of herself.

***

Daria wasn't having as much fun as her friend, instead she almost instantly found herself dangling from Kane's hand. She gestured her friends away when they all approached, hands reaching for their stun guns. "I got it." She said quietly, though her green eyes were shooting sparks.

They backed off, shooting Kane almost pitying glances before returning to what they'd been doing.

Kane was just glaring at her. "You got it?" He hissed, squeezing her throat. "Wrong. Where's that quarter now? You look like you could call a friend…"

Daria smiled sweetly, raising both her hands and boxing his ears. She smirked when he dropped her, landing on her feet. "You're so lucky I'm a Wiccan." She muttered, shoving him down onto an old couch they'd dragged up.

Kane didn't reply, he was just holding his ringing ears, a grimace on his face.

***

Lana was torturing Chris Jericho, making him sing the same song over and over again, having a serious giggling fit.

Chris froze mid-song to glare at her, looking royally embarrassed. "Can I stop now?" He asked pleadingly.

"No… this song doesn't stop, you know that." She replied innocently, twirling her brown hair around her fingers. "Come on Chrissy…"

Chris gritted his teeth. "This is the song that doesn't end, oh it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue singing it forever just because…"

Lana waved her hand. "Stop! You're killing me!" She pressed her hand against the wall, supporting herself so she didn't fall over.

"Are you finished yet?" He demanded, crossing his arms over his chest.

She nodded, wiping tears from her eyes. "For now."

***

'Taker wasn't a happy man. He had been kidnapped by a bunch of… strange people, to put it nicely. They were almost an odder assortment then the WWE crew they'd kidnapped. And the wench in front of him didn't help his mood any. She had to be one of the most sarcastic people he'd ever of met, himself not included.

"So you just going to sit there and try killing me with your eyes or what?"

"Patsy, right?"

Patsy nodded, raising an eyebrow.

"Would yeh like me to try to just kill yeh outright?"

"I'd like to see you attempt it." She taunted.

He was more then tempted too but when he seen her hand stray to her back pocket, he hesitated, not really wanting to find out what kind of weapon exactly these psychos were sporting. "Yer gonna regret this." He promised darkly.

"I'm looking forward to it." Patsy replied, winking smarmily at him.

'Taker just growled.


	7. Chapter 7

PART SEVEN

"Platinum?" Ken echoed.

Cindy just smiled sweetly, her gaze straying around the room, eyes narrowing when she seen Kane and Daria. When Daria held out a hand she wheeled herself back to Ken. "Do you bowl?"

"Bowl? Not really, why?" His eyes widened when he remembered the 'bowling for superstars' comment from earlier. "Oh…."

"I think we might be having us a game here real soon…"

***

Mands was just staring at Hunter, watching as he took in the room. Her silver/blue eyes crinkled in amusement when he cursed under his breath, they'd done a very good job of making the room a prison, albeit a relaxed one. When he turned his own gaze onto her, her head dropped, trying not to blush.

"So, was this a spur of the moment thing?" He asked sarcastically, perching himself on the edge of a chair, glaring at her like he really wanted to go off on her.

"No."

"This was planned? For how long?"

"Planned? Obviously." Mands snorted. "You think we KEEP a room like this just for shits n giggles? And as for how long, that's a nunya thing."

"Nunya?"

"Nunya damn business."

"I heard that!" Lamika shouted from across the room.

Mands shot her a grin.

***

Jox tapped her foot impatiently while Carlito used the bathroom, snickering when she heard him curse, guessing he'd found the bars on the window. When he came out she was grinning like a Cheshire cat. "The glass is shatter proof too…"

"I know…" He grunted, holding his elbow, apparently having tried to break the glass through the bars.

"And if you even say it…" She pulled out a roll of her ever present duct tape, waving it threateningly in his face.

Carlito looked like he was biting his lips.

"Fine." She sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Just ONE more time."

"That is so NOT cool!"

***

Javelin was just content to stare at Ashley, though she wasn't finding him amusing.

"You got some nerve." She spat, pulling on her blonde locks frustrated.

He just nodded.

"Do you speak?"

Another nod.

"Then why aren't you?"

"You seem to be talking enough for the both of us." Javelin grinned wryly. "Besides, would you really care about anything I had to say?"

"Not really." She admitted.

"I didn't think so."

***

"Let me see if I have this right: You guys decided to kidnap your favorite wrestlers just because you wanted to…"

Kayla shook her head yes, afraid to open her mouth, fairly certain she'd say something wrong.

"I am so pressing charges." He muttered, raking a hand through his hair, looking irritated. "You know how much time you're looking at? Kidnapping, assault…"

"Assault? Where'd that come from?" She demanded, forgetting about looking like a fool, arching a red eyebrow.

"Threatening bodily harm." He amended.

"Much better."


	8. Chapter 8

PART EIGHT

Jillian was screaming like a damn fool.

Until Marcus clamped a hand over her mouth, then he checked to make sure his ears weren't bleeding. "You have a shrill voice signora bella." He said, watching her eyes narrow angrily at him. "If you'll stop that wailing, I'll remove my hand. Understand?"

She nodded once.

Cautiously Marcus pulled his hand away.

"You got some nerve buddy, by the time my lawyers are through with you- you're going to wish you never even heard of- OOMPH!"

Marcus glanced behind Jillian to find Jox and Carlito standing there, both looking smug. Carlito was holding up Jox's tape, twirling it around his fingers.

"Once she gets started you can't shut her up." Was all he said.

***

Lamika shared a knowing glance with Keira before turning her full, undivided attention back to Batista. He was surveying the room and it's occupants, obviously going what all the wrestlers had, checking for a way out. She smirked, crossing one leg over the other and just stared at him, more then comfortable with her spot on the couch.

Finally he dropped down besides her with a sigh, shifting so he could look at her fully. "What's your name?" He asked finally.

"Lamika."

"Mika."

She frowned, hating the short version.

He grinned broadly, seeming to sense it. "Mika…" He said again, this time more slowly.

***

"Will you stop!"

John Cena didn't stop, instead he continued jumping in place, first on one foot then the other.

"Why are you doing that?" Keira demanded, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Because it relaxes me." John replied, never stopping. "Whatever you decided to give us is only keeping me from wringing that pretty neck of yours, that and the fact that I'm not dying because you're crazy."

Her green eyes narrowed, fingers itching to grab her stun gun. "Do something else, you jumping around is getting on my nerves."

"Not my problem."

"I'M GOING TO MAKE IT YOUR PROBLEM!"

"Fine." John grabbed the bottom of his shirt and pulled it up over his head.

"What-" Keira took a step back, licking her dry lips. "What are you doing?"

***

"So, what's there to do around here? Besides play the victim?" Jeff asked, studying a strand of his hair, frowning slightly. "Is this gray?"

Shelly leaned forward, studying it. "Yep."

"Damn."

"As for things to do," She shrugged. "You're not really here to do anything besides look pretty."

Jeff pouted, sticking out his lower lip. "But I can look pretty while I'm doing something! I'm multi-talented."


	9. Chapter 9

PART NINE

"Now are you done with this little temper tantrum of yours?" Daria asked conversationally.

Kane watched as this diminutive woman shuffled what seemed to be a Tarot deck and shook his head, his ears still ringing.

"Does that mean no?" She arched an eyebrow, her hands freezing. "Because if it does I'm sure I can change your mind."

"I'm done." He said gruffly, sitting down at the table across from her.

"Good." Daria smiled serenely, laying out the cards. She tapped the table. "Draw one."

Sighing heavily he did, his eyes narrowing.

Daria waited patiently for him to hand it over, smirking when she seen it. "This one seems to be popping up a lot." She murmured, studying the Fool.

"Trying to tell me something?"

"I'd say the cards are dear."

***

Lana was fairly certain she'd cracked her ribs from laughing so much. After making Chris sing the Lamb Chop song, she'd gone on to request "I'm A Little Teapot", complete with motions. The sight of him crooking his arms and bending over had been to much.

"That's it!" Chris growled, stepping towards her threateningly.

"Ah ah ah!" Lana waggled a finger in his face. "Take one more step and you'll be singing soprano for the rest of your life if you catch my drift."

Chris reluctantly froze. "Why are you torturing me?" He demanded piteously.

"Because you look so cute!"

"You'd look cute strapped to the front of a tank." Chris grumbled.

"So you're admitting I'm cute huh?" Lana teased.

***

'Taker stared down at the beer in front of him, not even moving to touch it.

"What's wrong?" Patsy asked, knocking back her own, studying him with a slight smirk.

"I ain't bout to drink from a plastic cup that YOU poured." He snarled. "I don't know what's in it."

"Just the usual… cyanide and beer. Look, I've already drugged you twice, the novelty is sort of wearing off, I promise it's safe. Look…" She reached out and picked up the cup, bringing it to her lips. "Mmm… yummy."

'Taker shrugged, seeming to say to hell with it and drained the glass in one swallow, smacking his lips, his tongue snaking out to lick away a drop.

Patsy repressed a shiver, grateful none of her friends were in the vicinity lest they start teasing her with 'tongue' jokes.

'Taker caught the shiver though and a slow smirk spread across his lips. Leaning back in his chair, he studied her with a whole new look in his eyes. "Well… darlin'…"

***

Ken Kenndy was this ( ) close to Cindy's face, studying her eyes intently. "How the hell did you do that?" He demanded.

"Do what?" Cindy asked, trying not to grin.

"Five minutes ago your eyes were blue… now they're green."

"Well I'll tell you just as soon as you move… this wheelchair isn't built for two you know…"

Grumbling he moved away from her.

Before Cindy could say anything they were interrupted but Jeff Hardy screaming:

"Nekked Cena coming through!"


	10. Chapter 10

PART TEN

Mands gaped as John Cena ran around the room naked, her gaze slowly moving to Keira who looked like she was about to go into shock any moment now. "Is this uh… normal behavior for him?" She asked Hunter, finally turning her attention back to him.

Hunter looked pretty embarrassed himself. "Um… actually…"

She arched an eyebrow.

"Yes." Hunter admitted, sighing dramatically.

"You lucky boy."

***

"Got anything to eat?" Carlito asked, rubbing his stomach and yawning.

Jox gestured to a refrigerator.

"Munchies!" Carlito was over there in a heartbeat. "Oh COOL!"

Jox groaned when he returned with the bag of apples. "Do you have to eat those?"

His reply was to bite into one with a loud crunch. "Mmmm…"

"Apple boy…."

***

Javelin had a hand clamped over his eyes. "Tell me when he's dressed."

Ashley giggled, clamping her hands over her mouth, snorting. "Okay… he's decent."

He slowly opened his eyes to be greeted to John Cena's naked ass waving in his face. "Keira! Get him under control before I-" Javelin was silenced when John started backing up. "KEIRA!"

Keira was too busy giggling and staring to really do much.

Ashley doubled over, her arms wrapped around her waist, tears streaming down her face.

***

"What a moron!" Edge exclaimed, watching as John danced around Javelin. "That's why he's always treated like he's a joke!"

Kayla just stared at him.

Edge raked a hand through his blonde locks, obviously prepared to rant for awhile. "This is what I have to deal with, completely unprofessional…" He shook his head. "It's like babysitting, I can't stand it!"

"You know something," Kayla spoke up, sounding thoughtful, ignoring the indignant look he shot her, apparently not liking being interrupted. "You're a prima donna."

"A what?"

"A whiny baby."

***

"If you can keep quiet, I'll take that tape off your mouth." Marcus offered sweetly, smiling at Jillian.

She just glared at him, flipping him off.

Marcus shook his head, sighing heavily. "That's what I thought."

***

"Are you ignoring me princess?" Batista asked, sounding amused, his brown eyes staring at Lamika while she pointedly watched Keira chase John with a pair of pants. "Oh Mika…"

"If you call me that ONE more time I'm going to hurt you!" She spat, rounding on him, green eyes blazing.

He arched an eyebrow, an 'oh really' expression on his face. "How're you going to do that Mika… I'm sorry, princess?"

Lamika growled, clenching and unclenching her fists. "Keep it up junior."

"Junior?" He snorted. "Now we both know better then that… MIKA."


	11. Chapter 11

PART ELEVEN

"John, put the damn pants on!" Keira shouted, having to fend off Javelin now as well as try to get her charge under control. "Put them on!"

John's response was dive over the nearest couch, vaulting over Batista and Lamika.

"KEIRA!" Lamika shrieked. "He just…" She stopped when Batista leaned over the couch to look down at the laughing John, screaming when the couch tipped.

Javelin stopped trying to get past Keira, now laughing his own ass off, barely aware that Ashley had grabbed his arm in an effort to stop him from killing someone.

"Help!" Came John's muffled voice from underneath the two, having barely missed being squashed by the couch.

Patsy and 'Taker stood up from the card table they'd been sitting on, both wearing identical smirks on their faces.

Cindy had wheeled herself around to look behind the couch, beginning to giggle insanely, moving back when the couch was straightened up. She almost backed up right into Ken but he caught her before she could run over his feet, his own eyes widening, starting to chuckle himself.

"Well don't just laugh, tell us what's going on!" Mands demanded, planting her hands on her hips, looking worried.

Kane and Triple H were up as well, though Edge and Jillian were both hanging back, looking positively mutinous.

Batista was the first one up, a very disturbed expression on his face. He bent down to help Lamika up who was smirking broadly, shooting Keira a knowing look.

"Can I have my pants now?" Came John's hushed voice, sounding like he might be traumatized.

Keira tossed them over the couch, eyeing Lamika wonderingly.

Lamika pulled her arm away from Batista and walked over to her friend, quickly becoming surrounded by the other women before whispering something.

"You wench!" Keira shrieked.

"Not my fault!"

***

Batista wasn't faring any better, point blank refusing to look at John.

"What the hell happened back there?" Jeff demanded, looking curiously back and forth between the two.

John and Batista both blushed, each looking in opposite directions.

Ken wasn't shy though. "It was a 69." He said gleefully.

'Taker snorted, choking on his beer. "Wait a minute… yeh mean to tell me them boys were…" He started laughing, bending down to pound a fist against his knee.

"The Animal got Cena's…" Jeff had to lean against Carlito for support.

"Apples in his mouth!" Carlito supplied when his friend couldn't finish.

John and Batista both lunged.

***

"Fight!" Kayla screamed, ducking when a chair came hurtling out of nowhere.

Marcus and Javelin instantly dived into the mess.

Ashley and Jillian stood with the other women, both clearly not impressed, apparently this was a common occurrence.

Daria exchanged looks with Patsy before pulling out her stun gun, wading into the fighting men, Patsy following with a slightly amused expression on her face.

"Oh lord…" Lana sighed.

That sentiment was echoed by the rest.

***

"Sumbitch!" 'Taker shouted, dropping down to one knee. He gritted his teeth, glancing over his shoulder to find Daria smirking, holding a taser in front of her. "You lil…"

"Witch." She supplied. "Now calm down before I do it again."

***

Mands snickered when she got Edge, trying not to find the sight of him hopping around amusing. "Grab a seat!" She ordered, prepared to stun him again if needed.

"Who do you think you-" He didn't get to finish that sentence.

***

"NOT COOL!" Carlito yelped, rubbing his ass. "Definitely not cool!" He spun around to find Cindy giggling, her patented innocent expression firmly in place. "Not you…"

"Oh yes, me. Now, we can do this the hard way or my way, pick one." She said, her voice almost angelic.

Carlito instantly dropped down, sitting on the floor quietly, ignoring the pain in his butt. "Not cool, not cool…" He muttered.


	12. Chapter 12

PART TWELVE

Chris shrieked when he felt his hair being pulled and spun around to find Kayla standing there, her stun gun raised threateningly.

"Don't make me use this." She said sweetly, waving it in front of his face. "It would REALLY hurt." She pointed to where Carlito was sitting. "Grab some floor."

***

Lamika and Keira exchanged looks before swapping guys. Lamika dropped to her knee to taser John in his calf while Keira got Batista in the back. They both moved out of the way when the men dropped, sharing smirks.

"You boys had better start playing nice." Keira said sternly, standing over them, one hand on her hip, the other brandishing her stun gun.

Lamika nodded, not looking amused. "If you can't keep your lover's quarrels at bay then we'll have to just tie you back up."

***

Lana had her hands full with Kane who had seen what was happening and moved himself to a corner, his back to the wall. She wasn't actually about to zap him, he'd stopped fighting but the way he was looking at her had her worried.

Kane just stared at her, hunkering down into a fighting stance.

***

"Ouch!" Ken screamed, wheeling around to find Cindy. "You're on a freaking zapping spree!" He growled, his hand going to the small of his back. "That hurt!"

Cindy smiled sweetly before doing it again, this time getting his side.

"OUCH!"

***

"All right! Guns down ladies!" Javelin roared, standing on a table to be heard, even though most of the wrestlers were sitting on the floor, looking grouchy but being quiet. "CINDY, DON'T-" He groaned when Cindy zoomed away from Ken after zapping him for what appeared to be a second time, giggling madly. "Jeez…" He shook his head. "Lana, you needing help?"

Lana shook her head, fairly certain Kane wasn't going to attack her though she backed away cautiously nonetheless.

Marcus shook his head, sitting on a couch between Ashley and Jillian. "This is why we generally don't all get together at once," He was explaining to them, enjoying the attention. "Trouble and mayhem follow."

"I can see that." Jillian said wryly, exchanging looks with Ashley. "Do you guys make it a point to kidnap people often or are we just lucky?"

"Signora bella, you're just lucky."

***

"Jav, you'd better go get your girl, Marcus is putting the Italian charm on her." Patsy teased, looking over at the couch.

Shelly rolled her eyes, nudging Lamika in the ribs. "You ready for round two?" She asked softly, watching as Javelin made his way over to the trio.

"I think Jav will be cool about it." Lamika chuckled.

"I don't know… I'd put my money on a fight." Jox chimed in, walking over to them, her duct tape out. "Look at Marcus, he's teasing Jav."

"Oh lord." Shelly sighed. "Where's Daria? She's going to go have to do damage control."


	13. Chapter 13

PART THIRTEEN

Daria was being doing damage control with Kane and Lana. Kane had surprised by Lana by wresting the stun gun away from her, not about to let these midgets harass him anymore. "Okay, hand it over." She said softly, gesturing Lana away, her eyes on Kane.

"I don't think so." Kane growled, taking a threatening step towards her.

"I need back-up, and from somebody with a weapon!" Daria shouted, barely dodging a blow aimed at her head. "HEY! That could've hurt!"

Instantly Javelin and Marcus put aside their differences to rush to her aid, both men shoving their shoulders into Kane's sides, forcing him to drop Daria as he was rushed against the wall.

Kane grunted, surprised that these shorties had actually managed to knock the breath out of him.

"Stand down Kane." 'Taker said firmly, not amused by his brother's actions.

Lana had darted forward to snatch back her stun gun, charging it up.

Mands rushed to stop her. "Calm down girl, we're not looking to have another fight on our hands." She whispered, wrapping an arm around Lana's shoulder.

Lana nodded, looking reluctant and allowed herself to be led away, shooting Kane a nasty look.

***

"You know what I think?" Kayla said softly, nudging Patsy with her elbow.

"Not until you tell me." Patsy retorted, grinning sarcastically.

Kayla smirked, her eyes slowly moving onto Cindy.

Patsy cottoned on quick, a slow smile spreading across her lips. "Well… they HAVE been awfully naughty tonight."

"Oh most definitely… what with FIGHTING and all." Kayla agreed.

***

Cindy giggled impishly as Kayla and Patsy whispered to her, the three huddled in a corner. "I'm up for it." She laughed, rubbing her hands together wickedly. "Get me my helmet."

"You betcha sweetie." Patsy winked, turning and walking away.

"You're so evil." Kayla teased, patting Cindy on the shoulder.

"I know, now let's tell the others and get these folks rounded up."

Jox flashed her patented Cheshire cat grin when Cindy explained what was going on, shooting Carlito a look. "That sounds like fun. I've got the duct tape."

"Good, we're going to need a lot of it."

"So is it everyone?"

"Everyone but the girls, it was the guys who were fighting." Cindy explained.

"Well I know that, I was there, I was just checking."

***

"Wait- you're going to do what?" Ashley blinked, not sure if she heard right.

Javelin smirked at her, having been informed by Patsy what was going on. "You heard me. Now are you going to help or should I have you tied up and put in a corner?"

"Oh no, I'm in! I am definitely in!" Ashley's eyes lit up excitedly. "You all are out of your minds, you know that right?"

"Most assuredly."

***

"Not COOL!" Carlito groaned when Jox made him hold still so she could bind his legs before taping his hands down at his side, wrapping the duct tape around his waist repeatedly, smirking when she seen him trying to break it. "What's going on?" He demanded nervously.

"Don't you worry your pretty little head about it."

***

"Jeff… do you want to play a game with me?" Shelly asked sweetly, holding the roll of tape Jox had given her behind her back.

"Yeah, sure, what kinda game?" Jeff asked curiously, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

"Put your arms down to your sides and close your eyes."

Jeff smirked, doing as he was told. "This is kinky." He murmured. "I like it."

Shelly blushed, grateful he had his eyes closed..

***

Mands was busy trying to decide what was the best approach to get Hunter tied. She studied him thoughtfully, the duct tape in her hand, which was carefully hidden underneath her on the couch.

Hunter arched an eyebrow. "Is there something I can help you with?" He asked, sounding condescending.

"Hold out your arms like this." Mands gestured, mildly annoyed now.

"No."

"Okay then… time for the shock treatment again."


	14. Chapter 14

PART FOURTEEN

"OUCH! MY TEETH! YOU PUNCHED ME IN THE MOUTH!" Edge screamed, holding his jaw, blinking back tears.

Kayla blinked, hardly believing she had actually done it herself but when he had gone to fight her on being taped, she'd lost her temper and swung.

"Are they chipped? Loose?" Edge opened his mouth, grabbing her shoulder. "Don't sugarcoat it, just tell me straight up, how bad is it?"

"Well stop pawing me and I'll tell you!"

Edge lowered his hands to his side, fidgeting nervously. "My teeth… my beautiful teeth, do you have ANY idea how much it'll cost to get this fixed?" He demanded.

Kayla rolled her eyes.

Edge shrieked, almost falling to his ass when she lunged forward. "WHAT ARE YOU DO-" He looked down to find his arms taped to his sides. "Oh."

***

"You were so brave to take Kane on like that." Jillian was saying, staring up at Marcus, batting her eyelashes.

Marcus grinned, looking uncomfortable. "Javelin did help… a little."

"I know but…" She shrugged. "Oh- I know! I'll sing for you, would you like that?"

Marcus just nodded, looking down at her with a raised eyebrow.

Jillian smiled sweetly before opening her mouth.

"SOMEBODY MAKE HER STOP!" Marcus screamed a moment later.

***

Lamika was still giggling over the whole '69/ apples in mouth' thing. "Just… hold still…" She laughed, not bothering to hide the duct tape.

"What the hell are you going to do with that?" Batista demanded, backing away from her, not trusing the wicked glint in her eyes.

"Man, if you don't keep your ass still I'm going to zap you and let John sit on your face!" She threatened.

Batista froze in place.

***

Keira didn't have a problem getting John taped. He thought it was some kind of game. How right he was. She did have trouble however shutting him up as he ranted on about what had happened, being sexually assaulted followed by physical abuse.

"John, if you can't shut up, I'm going to shut you up." Keira said sternly, standing up after binding his legs together.

John looked down, taking in his bound arms and legs. "Um… what kinda game are we playing?" He asked finally.

"Bowling for superstars." She said nonchalantly.

"Bowling for…. HEY! NO!"

***

Cindy surveyed the 'bowling pins' before her. "I think you should put Kane and 'Taker in the back along with Bastista, they're the biggest… and Trips." She said, strapping her helmet on, grinning broadly.

"How bout we just do one at a time and see how that works?" Shelly suggested. "I mean we don't want YOU getting hurt, just them."

"Why are you doing this to us?" Hunter demanded, swallowing hard as he was made to stand still, the rest of the guys being nudged away, all of them hopping.

"Because you clowns got into a fight." Mands smiled at him sweetly. "If you'd just of behaved yourselves then this wouldn't be happening."

"But it was THEIR fault!" He exclaimed, nodding at Bastista and John.

John and Basista exchanged looks and tried to disappear behind everyone else.

"Well we already knew that." Daria snickered. "But you all are guilty of fighting so now it's time to be reminded who's in charge. Just hush up and take your punishment like a good little boy."


	15. Chapter 15

PART FIFTEEN

"Are you sure this is safe?" Jeff demanded from his place at the front, watching wide eyed as Cindy was padded down with pillows.

"For me it is." Cindy said sweetly, her head poking over the cushions. "For you guys, no."

"Not cool…" Carlito whispered, his own gaze fastened on Hunter.

Jox had slapped a piece of duct tape over Trip's mouth to shut him up. He had tried a strange mixture of pleading and threatening that had only annoyed everyone.

Jillian and Ashley were standing off to the side, Jillian looking irritated, a piece of tape over her own mouth.

"Oh come on, smile, this is funny." Ashley nudged her in the ribs with her elbow.

Jillian shot her a pointed look, her eyes crossing as she tried to look down at the tape covering her mouth.

"Right, forgot about that but you heard them," Ashley gestured to Mark and Javelin who were forcing Hunter to stand still. "If you try to take it off, you're going to be one of the bowling pins."

Jillian folded her arms across her chest, clearly not amused.

***

"How fast?" Shelly asked just as soon as the pillows were taped in place.

Cindy frowned, gauging the distance between her and Trips as well as how big he was. "Full speed."

"Come on, can't we cut a deal?" Hunter pleaded one last time.

"How bout… no." Shelly grinned, right before pushing Cindy full force at Trips.

Hunter screamed through the tape as Cindy managed to guide the chair at him, his brown eyes widening.

"STRIKE!" Everyone but the bowling pins roared, watching as Hunter went down like a sack of potatoes, whimpering behind the tape.

"Holy shit I bet that hurt!" Keira exclaimed, her eyes wide.

"You think?" Lamika grinned, walking over to Cindy. "How are you feeling?"

"Good, set up the next one." Cindy grinned.

***

"So… how does it feel?" Kayla asked as she and Lana helped Hunter to his feet.

He shot them both a dirty look, blinking rapidly, apparently trying to keep back tears.

"Suck it in man, you're a wrestler for chrissakes." Lana said, sniggering.

"Which one next?" Kayla groaned as they shoved Trips down onto a couch.

"How bout," Lana rubbed her chin, looking thoughtful. "Mr. Jericho?"

Chris yelped.

***

"Okay, let's take a break. I think the pillows are about to come off." Mands said after they'd bowled over Chris, Ken, Edge and Kane.

Jox's eyes narrowed. "Bullshit. I taped them myself."

"Look…" Shelly pointed. "One too many times, she's going to end up hurting herself next."

"Can't have that, we're only out to maim the bozos." Jox joked, walking over to rip away the pillows. "How you holding up Cindy?"

"Never better. A little hot though." Cindy replied, looking red and sweaty.

"Here." Daria walked over, holding out a bottle of water.

Cindy took it, swallowing half of it down instantly. "Thanks."

***

"Hmmm…. We might need the first aid kit." Lamika said, peering down at Edge's legs. "Looks like this one got clipped."

"I have a name." Edge snapped through gritted teeth.

Mands nodded, grabbing the first aid kit from the floor at her feet and passing it over. "How bout you Chrissy boy? Anything hurt?"

"Just my ego." He muttered.

"Trips?"

Whatever he said was muffled.

"Oh yeah." Mands got up and none too gently ripped away the tape.

"THOSE WERE MY DAMN LIPS!"

Mands innocently stared down at the tape. "No worries, they're right here, we can put them back on." She slapped the tape back over his mouth.

Lamika snorted, now tending to the small wounds on Edge's kneecaps. "Looks like blondie here tried to drop or something BEFORE she got him."

"You'll be hearing from my lawyer." Edge snarled, staring down at her like she was dirt.

"Looking forward to it."

***

"Who's next?" Cindy asked enthusiastically, looking refreshed.

"Undertaker." Keira said instantly, ignoring the look Patsy shot her.

"You bitches even try it and I'm gonna beat the livin' hell outta all of ya." He threatened.

Kane groaned from his place on the floor, having tried to beat them and failed.

"Shaddup Kane!" 'Taker growled.

"Looky here Stiff," Lamika came up behind him, Mands taking one side while Jox moved to the other. "You're freaking tied up, how the hell you planning on beating us up? Enquiring minds want to know."

"I won't be tied up forever darlin'."

"Possibly, I have a lot of friggin tape." Jox said seriously.


	16. Chapter 16

PART SIXTEEN

"OUCH!" Everyone in the room everyone in the room echoed when 'Taker got bowled down for a second time, his mouth overriding his ass and annoying Cindy so much she'd begged to plow him again.

The first time he had hopped back, flinching but didn't fall. The second; well… he probably wouldn't be able to walk without limping for a few days.

"No! NO!" Jeff shrieked when he was dragged forward next.

"Shut up and take it like a man." Javelin muttered, shoving him into place.

"See ya Skittles." Shelly blew him a kiss before pushing Cindy forward.

"Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhh-" The scream was cut short by Cindy running him down.

"Wow." Cindy backed away, staring down at him. "You went down like a sack of potatoes kid."

"Thanks." He squeaked.

They saved John and Batista for last, deciding that since these two troublemakers had started the whole mess, they were going to have to be seriously punished.

The friends huddled together, discussing it in loud whispers, occasionally shooting the pair 'LOOKS' that left the two wrestlers secretly quaking, wondering what this bunch of loonies were up too.

"I don't know… that might HURT, a LOT." Marcus said loudly.

"What might hurt?" John spoke up nervously.

They all ignored him.

"Hey, WHAT might hurt?" Batista chimed in, exchanging looks with John.

"WE'RE TALKING TO YOU!" John shouted.

"Well if you really think we can do that…"

"I don't see why not, it's up to Cindy of course."

"Of course."

"Cindy?"

"I can do that. But it's got to be someone light."

"Mmm… obviously Jav and Marcus are out."

"Maybe we should just load the chair down…"

"With what?"

"Good point."

"Well let's use Shelly and Keira then."

"We're not going to crush Cind are we?"

"No, you're not going to crush me, do I look like glass to you?"

"Not really, though you need to tuck your horns back in Satan."

Cindy giggled sweetly.

"So are we ready then?"

"I think so."

***

Ten minutes later it was Cindy, Shelly and Keira all in the wheelchair, one sitting on top of the other, practically hidden from view from all the pillows Jox and Mands had taped around them.

"Oh god… oh god… oh god…" John groaned, struggling against Javelin and Marcus as they pushed him forward.

"Should we get them both at once?" Kayla asked thoughtfully. "Might hurt more…

Lana looked thoughtful, tapping her chin. "Hmmm… maybe. Though we should probably line them up one behind the other."

"Another gay moment?"

"I was thinking better impact but yeah, that too."

Lamika shook her head, exchanging looks with Patsy. "Do you want to do the honors or should I?"

"I will, assualt is one of my favorite forms of entertainment."

"You all are going to jail for this." Batista threatened, not pleased when he was roughly shoved behind John.

"And you're probably going to the hospital handsome." Lamika winked, grinning as Patsy wrapped her hands around the handles of Cindy's wheelchair. "Ready?"

"Oh no, please don't!" John pleaded, his blue eyes begging, knowing this was going to hurt like a bitch.

"One…"

"Two…"

"THREE!"


	17. Chapter 17

PART SEVENTEEN

"Think they'll be all right?" Ashley asked Javelin worriedly as she stared at her co-workers.

Javelin looked disinterestedly at the still stumbling John and Batista, having been plowed back into the wall several times definitely knocked them for a loop. "They'll live." He looped an arm around her waist. "How bout you? You look a little… red."

"It's from laughing." Ashley quickly assured him. "It was funny, I couldn't help it." She sounded like she felt guilty for being amused.

***

"Oh my gawd! I can't believe you all just did that!" Jillian kept repeating.

"Why not?" Marcus asked curiously.

"You just lined them up liking bowling pins and plowed them down!"

"And…?"

"Don't you feel bad at all?"

Marcus looked confused. "Should I?"

"You know you're going to hell right?"

"Most definitely."

***

"How're you holding up Skittles?" Shelly asked sweetly, staring down at Jeff.

"I'm in pain thanks to your sadistic ass." He groaned, massasing his poor, battered legs.

"Well you didn't honestly think you were going to get away with fighting now did you?" She looked down at him, arching an eyebrow.

"I didn't think period." Jeff admitted. "How was I supposed to know you were serious about the bowling for superstars thing?"

"Rule number one: You should never doubt anything the kidnapper says."

***

Daria watched Kane with a slight smile on her face, wondering if he was about to lash out and make the attempt to murder her again. She nodded approvingly when he didn't, just sat where he was, eyes forward. "You know, I'm not really a bad person, once you get to know me."

"I'm sure you just grow on people." He replied sarcastically.

"I tend too actually."

Kane just snorted.

"Your problem," Daria said conversationally. "Is that you just got your ass handed to you by a group of women."

"You don't like living do you?"

"I believe in reincarnation so it doesn't matter much to me."

"I hope you come back as a worm."

"Funny… I'm hoping I come back as your attitude adjustment."

***

"Come on Chris… it was just a little game, you're going to make it." Lana said, handing Chris an ice pack.

Chris just took it from her, not saying a word.

"Awww.…. The big bad wrestler is having a 'moment'…"

"I'm about to have a moment with my hands wrapped around your neck." Chris threatened.

"Need I remind you: I will literally bowl your ass over if you even THINK about it."

***

Patsy was pretty certain if it weren't for the fact that he was sporting some brand new injuries, the Undertaker would have probably ripped her limb from limb by now. If the way he was looking at her was any indication…

He slowly raised royally pissed green eyes to meet hers.

Yeah… she was a dead woman if he ever managed to get back up on his legs.

***

"Ken, now honestly, it wasn't THAT bad, you're just being a big baby about all this." Cindy said patiently, sounding like a mother talking to a whining child.

"Lady, look, you ran me over. You zapped me twice, not to mention all the trauma I'm probably going to be suffering from this." Ken replied, glaring at her.

"Awww… would you like to ride in my wheelchair?"

"I'd like to run you over with it."

"Here, tell you what, if it'll make you feel better…"

Ken groaned, looking like he was sorely tempted to take her up on that but didn't budge.

***

Hunter wasn't all that angry anymore, instead he was studying Mands a bit more intently, definitely sizing her up.

Mands shifted uncomfortably, not sure if the twinkle in his eyes was a good thing.

"You know… you have got to be one of the most ballsy people I've ever had the misfortune of meeting."

"Um… thanks?"

He nodded.

She sighed in relief, apparently that had been a compliment. Then Mands started blushing, a fact that didn't go unnoticed by Trips, who got a broad smirk on his face.

***

"Say it, I dare you!" Jox challenged, glaring at Carlito.

Carlito glared right back, mocking her posture, his hands on his hips. "That was-"

"NOT COOL!" Jox finished. "I know!"

"Then why'd you do it?" He demanded angrily.

"Because you morons couldn't keep your testosterones in check!"

"How is that my fault? I'm a walking testosterone factory baby!"

Jox buried her head in her hands. "Men…"

***

"Hold still…"

"It hurts though!"

Kayla sighed heavily. "Edge, you're a whiner, have I told you that?"

"I lost count." He admitted, raking a hand through his blonde locks. "Can I help it if you're a vicious wench out to disfigure me?"

"Now would I disfigure you?" Kayla asked, sounding amused. "I do like watching you on the television."

"That's why you kidnapped me." He pouted.

"Precisely."

***

"If you don't stop moving I can't untie you!" Lamika snapped.

"Keep the hell away!" Batista growled, looking like he was about to bust out of the shirt he wore, obviously trying to snap the three rolls of tape Jox had wrapped him in.

Rolling her eyes, Lamika sat down on the couch to watch the show. "Go on, enterain me."

Batista ignored her, until he started swaying. "Christ! Help!"

"Can't, you told me to keep-" Lamika's eyes widened when he crashed to the floor on his back. "Away."

***

"I think I have a concussion." John muttered, rubbing the back of his head.

Keira stared into his blue eyes, tapping her chin. "No… just a headache, don't worry, it'll pass."

"No, it won't! My head is throbbing!" John protested, cradling his aching head.

"I could always drug you again if you want."

"Or maybe you could just knock me out?"

"I tried." Keira rapped her knuckles on his head. "You're too thick headed."


	18. Chapter 18

PART EIGHTEEN

The night wore on into morning, which marked the end of the fun.

"How're we getting them out of here without them killing us?" Shelly asked, walking over to join Javelin and Lamika who were speaking quietly near the door.

"We were just talking about that ourselves." Javelin said, shooting a look over at Ashley.

"He's nursing a crush." Lamika explained at the raised eyebrow Shelly shot her.

"Ain't we all?"

"Back to the task on hand: Getting this crew the hell out of here."

Javelin raked a hand through his hair. "I don't know… drug them?"

"Would," Shelly said slowly. "If we had anything left."

"Knock them out?"

"Haven't we assaulted them enough? We're looking for just a jail term, not a life sentence in prison."

"Good point."

***

"All right," Mands said, standing on the table to get everyone's attention. "We are taking you twerps back to the arena."

A chorus of 'about time's, hell yeahs and amen's' met that.

"But…"

Groans.

"We are all still armed and WILL proceed to hand you your asses to you… again. You may very well wind up here another night if you can't behave yourselves. Understood?"

Jox shook her head, nudging Lana. "I think Mands is getting over being shy."

Lana grinned broadly. "I'd hope so, this should be the ultimate in shyness breakers."

"No kidding."

***

The return trip to the arena was uneventful, obviously, the wrestlers this time riding awake and in the limousuine, crammed like sardines.

Minus Ashley who had taken Patsy's front seat in Javelin's car.

In turn, Daria and Patsy ribbed the hell out of Jav, much to his supreme annoyance.

***

"Well… I can definitely say it wasn't a pleasure meeting you." Edge said, looking down at Kayla out of narrowed eyes, backing slowly towards his rental car.

"Now my feelings are hurt." Kayla pouted. "Remind me to never kidnap you again."

"Bank on it."

She flashed him a smile. "Nice meeting you too blondie."

Edge rolled his eyes exasperatedly and walked away, shaking his head, sounding like he was chuckling under his breath.

***

Patsy and 'Taker were eyeing each other, both apparently thinking about their parting shots.

Patsy swallowed hard but arched an eyebrow when he stepped up to her, tilting her head back so she could look up, way up. "Yes?"

'Taker stared down at her, slowly lowering his face until his nose was almost touching hers. "Next time…"

"Yeah?"

He smirked wickedly. "I'm tyin' yer ass up."

***

Jeff was bouncing around, his arms wrapped around himself, fending off the morning chill. "Thanks, that was interesting, I really hated the bowling for superstars bit though, that really sucked." He said to Shelly.

"Whoa, slow down!" She shook her head, wondering if he ever took a breath inbetween sentences. "You are way to hyper."

"I know, you woulda figured that after everything you psychos did to us, I'd be like, whoa and calm down but it's soooo not happening!" Jeff exclaimed.

"I've noticed." Shelly started screaming when he picked her up, twirling in wide circles around the parking lot.

***

"Are you still sore about the whole bowling thing?" Lamika demanded, hands on her hips, returning the glare Batista was shooting her.

"No… THAT isn't what I'm 'sore' about." He growled, flexing his arms at her, sparing a glance at John.

"Oh… hey, don't worry about it too much man, everyone gets curious, you know?"

His brown eyes narrowed. "Listen here, PRINCESS, one of these days, you and I are going to run into each other again and it'll be a whole new ball game."

"Looking forward to it."

"See ya around Mika."

"I HATE that name!" Lamika cursed, watching him walk away.

***

Carlito was munching on one of the apples he'd brought back from the 'prison', watching as Jox fidgeted with the hem of her tank top. "You know," He began around a mouthful of apple. "You're not quite so… tough… now."

Jox arched an eyebrow, looking at him like he'd lost his mind. "You do remember who you're talking too right?"

"A crazy woman who kidnaps people, has an unusual fetish with tape and men with accents?"

"You're lucky I'm too tired to really want to hurt you right now." Jox sighed, shaking her head.

Carlito grinned broadly, offering her the apple.

Shrugging, Jox accepted it and took a large bite.

"Want the worm too?"

Jox started choking on the piece of apple she was chewing.

***

"I'm going straight to my room and getting a scalding hot shower." John muttered, watching as David and Lamika exchanged not too friendly words before shivering.

"Don't forget to rinse." Keira added helpfully.

John shot her a LOOK.

"What?" She looked innocent. "I was trying to help!"

"You can help by footing the bill for all the therapy sessions I'm going to need after what you guys did to us!"

"Listen, it's not MY fault you and Batista decided to play pool with each other!"

John growled dangerously. "It is YOUR fault you decided to play kidnap the famous people!"

"I'm not the one who's needing therapy, remember?"


	19. Chapter 19

PART NINETEEN

Kane wasn't sure if he even wanted to walk away from Daria, suspicious she might pull another stunt while his back was turned.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you." She said as if reading his mind.

Kane growled.

Daria just smiled serenely. "I told you, I grow on people."

"What kind of surgery does it take to get you removed?" He asked finally.

"Now there's an intelligent question."

***

"One more song?" Lana asked, flashing a 'puppy dog' look at Chris.

"Oh sure, what'll it be this time? Mary Had A Little Lamb or the theme song from Barney?" He asked sarcastically.

"You can do both."

"I was joking!"

"Yeah, but I wasn't." Lana said impatiently. "Get singing Chrissy."

"I'll get right on it you lunatic." Chris shot back, shaking his head and taking a few steps away from her. "Outta your damn mind."

"Lana the Lunatic, you betcha."

***

Cindy wheeled herself back and forth, always stopping inches short of bashing into Ken, which he seemed to find rather amusing.

"All in all, tonight was the worst night of my life." He informed her, chewing on a wad of gum noisily.

"I enjoyed myself."

"I bet you did."

"Oh come on, if you had been in our positions, you would've found the whole bowling thing funnier 'n hell." Cindy said, daring him to deny it.

"I probably would have." Ken admitted. "But I was a PIN."

"That's true."

***

"If we ever by chance meet again," Hunter began.

"Yeah?" Mands stubbed her toes against the gravel, not sure if she even wanted to know what he had to say.

"Please, skip drugging me."

She stared at him for a minute before beginning to laugh. "I'll be sure to do that."

"Thank god…"

"Any other requests? Just incase?"

Hunter rubbed his chin thoughtfully, smirking slightly. "Next time… none of that bowling shit."

"Gotcha boss."

***

Shelly looked up when she heard sirens in the distance, shaking her head. "Looks like we're in trouble."

"Yeah… but it was worth it." Jox replied, linking her arm through Shelly's.

Lamika giggled, walking up with Mands on one side of her, Kayla on the other. "Think we'll get to share a cell?"

"Probably not." Javelin smirked, sharing looks with Patsy. "We're probably going to be interrogated individually."

"Hopefully with bright lights and the whole good cop/ bad cop thing going." Patsy rubbed her hands together.

"You're such a sick wench."

"I can be."

Keira raked a hand through her hair, waving when the first of several cop cars pulled up. "Which one do you think called on us?"

"Hmmm… Jillian or Edge." Lana said thoughtfully. "Those two were definitely not having a good time."

Daria stuffed her tarot deck into her pocket, standing next to Cindy, looking slightly amused. "I believe this is the part where we're read our rights."

Cindy nodded, innocent eyes wide as they were surrounded.

***

"This is boring!" Jox groaned, pacing around the large cell they had been placed in.

Marcus nodded from his place on the floor, his arms wrapped around his knees.

They had been in jail for the entire weekend, waiting for their arraignment, something they all found rather amusing, especially since there was only one way to plead: Guilty. This was going to be very entertaining indeed.

"You trouble makers awake?"

"Nope, we're all talking in our sleep!" Keira called out, smirking when their current guard scowled.

"Funny. You convicts have a visitor."

"We haven't been convicted of anything yet." Javelin said, walking over to stand by the bars, a wry grin on his face. "Innocent till proven guilty."

"Maybe I'm the only one curious, but who's the visitor?" Mands voiced from her place on a bench with Kayla.

"A lawyer I hope." Patsy drawled, looking nonplussed.

"You guys are always like this huh? And I thought it was just a special night."

Heads shot up when Ashley appeared, grinning like a Cheshire Cat.

"This is going to sound really rude," Shelly began slowly. "But why the hell are you here?"

The grin never left Ashley's face as she took them all in one by one. "Well, we all spoke to our boss, Vince, gave him a run down of what happened and… after giving it some thought, he wants to meet you clowns."

"You came here to insult us?" Javelin asked, arching an eyebrow at her.

"No honey," Ashley reached through the bars to tap his nose. "I'm here to bail you out and kidnap you."

Lamika started laughing. "Lord save us all."

"Better pray harder." Kayla chuckled. "I think she's serious."

"You'd better believe it. You all are being released under my care until I get you back to Vince, consider this a work release program."

"Oh my god…" Cindy squeaked. "She's serious!"

"Am I the only one who finds this mildly disturbing?"

"Um… nope, I'm with you."

"Think we're in trouble?"

"I would hope so, that's going to be half the fun!"

Ashley shook her head, watching as the friends chattered amongst themselves, her eyes twinkling mischievously. Oh yes, things were about to get very, very interesting in the WWE.


End file.
